Just the other day was my sister’s birthday. So, typical of my mother on any given holiday, a selection of sweets was in order. In this particular instance: cupcakes. The trouble with cupcakes is, well, they are fucking delightful.
Conveniently cup-sized treats comprised of fluffy cakes topped with heavenly sweet frosting, they make for the ideal dessert. HOWEVER. Being that cupcakes are cup-sized as opposed to the larger size of a regular-sized cake, there is an unwritten law that you can eat more cupcakes to make up for the fact that they are indeed smaller.
Therefore, of course, I take advantage of this situation and grab one of every flavor: chocolate, vanilla, red velvet, coconut, strawberry and mocha. KEEP IN MIND that I’ve already stuffed myself with sushi at dinner, which means not only have I overeaten but I’ve over-soyed which is an altogether separate experience, dreadfully unpleasant in itself.
Cut to me, bloated and ever-expanding on my futon, emotionally raw and watching Sophie’s Choice. If there is one thing I learned from Meryl Streep’s character Sophie in that movie, it is that there comes a time in everybody’s life when one is forced to make sacrifices in order to move forward to better days. And god damn it my sacrifice is NOT going to be cupcakes!
These are the Confessions of a Fat Bitch.
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