Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Spring Break 2010, no regrets!

It’s Spring Break 2010 and this fatass is ready to party! And by party obvi I mean get drunk and eat everything in the kitchen.

Let’s do a quick recap to get us all up to speed, yesterday I ate 2 ice cream sandwiches, 1 chocolate dipped banana, 1 bag of sweet potato chips, 6 vanilla meringue puffs, 3 separate dinners and let’s be real this BARELY scratches the surface—oh wait, yeah and I just remembered: I grabbed my third ice cream sandwich in a 24-hour period around 3am--that’s gotta be a record. It’s after a day like this that one starts to rethink the decisions they have made in life.

I thought a diet would be a good solution to control this rampant fatassery, but its only 4pm and I’ve already turned down a trip to In N Out and a donut run. My resistance is worn down for the day. The next proposal I receive for a fast food treat and I’m out the fuckin door. So starting a diet during spring break just isn’t feasible. And hey, I’m on vacation. I do what I want. HOWEVER, it is getting dangerously close to swimsuit season. And if I don’t want yet another summer of screaming civilians scrambling down the beach to get away from me as I peel off my triple-XL t-shirt and roll into the surf, it’s either time to staple my mouth shut or find a healthy hobby like developing an eating disorder.

Spring Break 2010, no regrets!

These are the Confessions of a Fat Bitch.

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