Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Magic of Microwaveables

This morning as I nursed my hangover from last night’s Taco Bell binge with a Jimmy Dean sausage and egg breakfast croissandwich, I thought to myself, “Wow… How did fatasses EVER get by in a world without the magic of microwaveables?” This generation has been blessed with the availability of such quickie treats as Easy Mac, TV-dinners, pot pies, Spaghetti-O’s, and taquitos--all of which are now considered essential components of the Fatass Food Pyramid and made possible by the microwave oven. That old cheeseburger you found in your purse? Quick 30 second zap in the microwave and yes! Good as new! And don’t you DARE pretend like we haven’t all been there. Let’s be real you fat slut, you know you couldn’t survive your day-to-day if it weren’t for those Trader Joes microwaveable appetizers. They’re perfection.

There are the Confessions of a Fat Bitch.

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